Barrier
by StoriesThatNeverWere
Summary: He had never let these barriers down. It was never an option before. Now Will is afraid he can't let them fall, not even for the woman he loves.
1. Whose Doubt?

She had never doubted her love before. If there was anything about Will Traveler she could define with truth, it was her devotion to him. Incomprehensible, credulous, tantalizing: but bona fide and powerful. Maya had known she loved the man on sight, an assurity until that moment twenty months before she would have considered surreal; or if pure, than an untouchable dream that only school girls would dare fantasize about. Yet her first glimpse into the spy's scale-green eyes and it was an unmistakable jolt of verity that rebooted her heart into hyper-drive, and raised the lightest pink to her cheeks as excuse for the passing second in which she had not returned his polite hello.

To play the scene of their first meeting in her mind was a regular occurrence for the young bookkeeper, as though it were her favorite movie locked to memory for quick access. Daniel Taft had stepped off the train at Deer Harbor station as the only rider staying in the small nowhere-town in Maine. And since he was the only arriving passenger, he had instantly spotted an awaiting Maya Carter and identified her as his new contact. During his split-second evaluation, Maya hadn't been able to read what he thought of her. In fact, she hadn't been able to read his expression at all. It had confused her, as she finally reached out to shake his hand, that she felt immediately withdrawn from him, as though she could sense an invisible bubble shielding him from… the world? Demons? Herself? It was anyone's guess. Yet the presence was undeniable for the first few weeks of his stay. Oh Daniel was polite to be sure, complimenting her on her cooking and her home décor, like any kind guest would; but the aura of resistance around him did not hurriedly fade despite their lapsing time together.

_So how did it go away?_

Maya could not answer that question with certainty, although she had surely attempted to. No matter her cautionary fear during the beginning of his stay, or the recurring dread of occupational secrets he refused to discuss, when the time had come where their attraction was evident, it was solely him who determined their status. Because only Daniel Taft- who had by this time adopted his Will Traveler alias- knew the risks and consequences of two agents becoming involved. And even after explaining to Maya the dangers of romance (and in turn vulnerability) in his agency, he still remained the only one who understood the gravity of their situation. While Maya had grasped that having an affair could jeopardize not only his mission but her life, this did not weaken her human desire to fall in love with someone who mystified and fascinated her. Even more truthfully, she had found no harm in letting her emotions control her thoughts: because Will had made it clear that they could not have a relationship. So as long as one of them was strong, nothing would result, right?

What the twenty-three year old had subconsciously assumed was that part of the motive behind Will's objection was he did not return her feelings. Throughout many months, in which Will had returned to Deer Harbor almost every other week to conduct business with Hometown, Maya had yet to see him relay any hints of attraction other than a few stolen glances. She hadn't noticed him shift whenever she got within a five inch proximity, or how his eyes would twinkle whenever she'd smile. She hadn't known every second weekend as she'd hug him goodbye that he would relish in the coconut-smell of her velvet curls. And never had she pictured, realistically, that he would be the one to break the rules.

Their first kiss initiated a bond that became crucially important for both Will and her. It was a sweet love, like that of any young couple, but buried within their secret picnics and sailing trips were a pair of lovers desperately afraid of losing sanity. Will's dreams had begun acting up more and more as time passed, to the point where he would seek refuge in Maya's bed during his nightly stays. (Although they never crossed the line of intimacy: it was unquestionable, which Will had intimated after they sealed their relationship. Sex was a step they could not afford to take, because making love would surely bring their shield of caution down.) And Maya sought solace from Will every moment of their days together. Try as she might, she was not strong like he was. Hometown frightened her, as did Will's mission of betrayal. She hated being involved, and she hated being caught in the midst of it all: so she found refuge in Will's arms, using him as a shield against all the horror that threatened to overtake her.

Their fear was what kept them together, and unlike most couples, there was never worry of rejection, straying or discomfort. Maya knew Will was going against all he worked for by being with her, so any chance of him seeing someone else was absolutely unrealistic. However, his persona- the Will Traveler Yale student- did not have a girlfriend, or any obligation to Maya. And as such, in order to avoid suspicion from his roommates, Will had been obligated to "date" during his time at college. Though he would never say outright when Tyler Fog would hold one of his hoar-parties, Maya could tell. Because at his next visit, Will would smother her with extra love to make up for whatever he may have done, making it evident that whatever had happened meant nothing to him compared to spending time with Maya.

This was one of the thousands of complications in their relationship: Will Traveler was not completely hers.

Maya turned from her reflection in the kitchen window, slowly collecting herself from the aging memories she had once again become lost in. She could hear Will shuffling around in the basement, having brought back a new collection of damning evidence against his "roommates", preparing for the approaching time in which all hell would break lose for Tyler Fog and Jay Burchell and a nightmare too unrealistic to fathom would destroy their lives forever.

_And I'm going to sit back and let it happen._

Darkness had only begun its hypnotic spell of night, so early that the sky was still resisting sleep and boldly protested by awakening a falling sun from a formation of clouds. Maya stared after the descending sun, watching as it took all of her hope down under the earth's horizon. Tonight felt horrible, pessimistically so, and Maya had no idea why. She should be downstairs helping Will, for he was only there a short three days. But for the first time ever, Maya did not want to see Will. She had not wanted to pick him up at the train station, to have him sweetly kiss her lips once they were out of the public's eye, nor did she want to fall asleep against him that night. The prospect of it all had brought her to that window, with young tears to grow in her eyes, and the vibe of a lonely violin to trample her heart with indescribable sorrow.

_What is wrong with you? Will is here. You love him. You haven't seen him for over a month. You've missed him, and that is why you feel so badly. Let him hold you. You'll feel so much better._

This should have relieved the bookkeeper, because it was such a reasonable excuse. But as she heard her lover's ascending footsteps, she immediately tensed and closed her eyes. Maya telepathically whispered to him, praying he could magically hear her. _Please go away. Please Will. I'm not feeling well right now._

As though her wish was granted, she heard his footsteps come to a halt, and did not feel Will touch her shoulders or wrap his arms around her waist. Maya could hear him though, for his breath was low and husk.

"Maya?"

She didn't turn. The blonde bit her quivering lip, but the shaking was contagious, and it rose to her shoulders as her unmanageable crying began once more. Usually she sobbed when Will was gone, in a rage of frustration and hurt after he would leave for Yale. Now, however, it was just the opposite: she didn't want him here, and she couldn't understand why.

"Maya," Will spoke more sternly, taking her shoulders to turn her to face him. The second she caught site of his face Maya wanted to pull from his grasp. She attempted to control herself, shutting her eyes once more as though he would disappear if she couldn't see him. "Maya! What's wrong?" He sounded bewildered, even frightened, but Maya couldn't find herself to form words between her tears.

He shook her, enough to make Maya's eyes shoot open, and within his expression she saw what scared her. His dark pupils, burning with a deep sapphire hue, were cutting through her like deep knives. "Your eyes…" she spoke what came to her mind. Something about his eyes was suddenly very distinct- very dark- as though she had seen something within them that had always been there but was undetectable before. Maya's head spun as she felt herself weakening; whether she had lost her mind or not, she had to get away from Will. Because everything about his expression made her terrified, as though the man holding her was not her love for the past year, but a complete stranger.

"Maya, talk to me!" His voice was louder, painfully so. He continued to stare her down, desperately searching her for an answer as to her hysterics. She couldn't take it.

"Don't look at me like that! Please, Will, stop looking at me like that!" Maya reluctantly assessed that she'd gone crazy, pulling away from her boyfriend's grasp and clambering out the back door.

In the open grass, she fell to her knees as her legs became liquid beneath her. She covered her eyes in humiliation, although there was no one (that she was aware of) around to see her. Maya did not worry about Will coming out into the yard, trying to learn what made her lash out so suddenly. Will would want to comfort her, to hold her and kiss her like he always did, but out in the open, that was not an option. She was safe from him, even as she felt his eyes locked on her.

_Dear God, what is wrong with me… _

_You have finally fallen apart. You knew you would, and now you are going to drive away the most perfect man you could ever meet._

Maya crawled over to the small pond in the corner of her background, positioning herself on the sea of rocks bordering the water. Her father had built this pool, knowing his wife's love for anything involving the sea. This also reflected in Maya, her parents would find out when she was four: if it was pouring rain outside the pleasant Maine home, the young girl would put on a raincoat- without any undergarments- and start running around the street splashing in filthy puddles of runny mud and bacteria. Donald and Sarah had taken their daughter's picture on one of these days, and it still sat on the mantel in their old bedroom. Will had noticed the photo during his first tour of the house, and never missed an opportunity to tease her about it. Maya would find out this was his way of making her blush. He loved it when she did that.

The pretty blonde dipped her index finger in the translucent water, stirring ripples in the surface as her thoughts wandered. How could she suddenly fall out of love for Will, if that was what had happened? He was perfect- to her at least. The spy would have said just the opposite, that he was a corrupt man with many mistakes in his past he would not dare resurrect. But Maya didn't care; never cared; hadn't cared. He was magic, life, meaning… she had known that the second his lips met hers for the first time…

_The next week would mark his sixth month anniversary as Will Traveler, Maya reflected as she picked up a large box of books and dropped it onto the dolly. Six months since she had fallen head-over-heals in love for an esoteric government spy with thousands of skeletons in his closet. Watching him enter the store with his usual sultry sway and deep eyes that lightened upon seeing her, it was all Maya could do to not run up and take him into her arms. She refrained, as usual, and instead greeted him with a heartwarming grin that she was sure relayed everything she felt for him. _

"_How'd the meeting go?" It was a simple question, one which she knew would never receive a completely truthful answer. _

"_Good. Joseph liked the footage we picked out yesterday, although I'm going to need a new spite on President Sheers from Tyler… shouldn't be hard considering his immigrant speech this morning. I imagine Tyler's gonna go up in flames on that one."_

_Maya returned his smile, although broke eye contact. The cool way Will could talk about framing two innocent men always unsettled her, no matter that she knew he wouldn't do something so treacherous if it didn't serve a greater, better purpose. He must have noticed her uneasiness, because immediately he changed the subject. "Do you need some help with those," he gestured toward the books she was stacking._

"_Sure. These are the new copies I ordered last week; we can just replace them and I'll close up." _

_They worked quickly, scanning the story collections in search for the specific book within their hand. Will did most of the talking, going on about what they would need to work on the next few days. Twice they had picked up a book by the same author, so twice they stood shoulder-to-shoulder, where Maya would fumble stupidly as their fingers would brush. She'd mumble an apology, and then immediately wish to slap herself at how childish she must have sounded. Besides, she wasn't sorry… at all._

_The atmosphere had become charged with attraction, which made Maya mentally clumsy. She prayed silently that Will didn't see her trip every other step or her hands shake whenever she thought he may accidentally touch her again. Try as she might, Will had that effect on her: and it hurt that nothing could result from it. _

_He had been able to keep his emotions in check, having made it clear a month previous they had no future together, and seemed to have dropped the subject entirely. Though whatever attraction may have lived weeks before, strong and stable Will had apparently gotten over it. _

_Maya approached the tallest bookshelf, preparing to replace 'Murder on the Orient Express' with a fresh copy. Unfortunately for her, this shelf was slightly too tall, and in order to reach "C" she had to stand on her tip-toes. _

"_Would you like to stop by Maxine's after this?" She referred to the quaint diner Will had immediately fallen for when he first came to Deer Harbor. _

_Will had finished replacing his last book, turning to Maya to see her struggling to reach the top shelf. A grin crept up his face as he approached to assist her. "Sure. You know I can't turn down their chicken-pot-pie." Without hesitation, Will lightly pressed himself against Maya's back, taking the book from her outstretched hand. Although he was only an inch taller than her, he managed to retrieve the old novel. The bookkeeper stood still against him, feeling her heart increase at the warmth of his skin. _

'_Maya Carter, you stop that! He has already told you this won't happen.' The truth was a bitch. _

"_Well then we better hurry. Max usually doesn't have many leftover by six on Fridays. Besides," the bookkeeper bravely turned, and was surprised that Will remained so close to her, "if there is only one left, I'm not sharing with you again." _

_Will raised his eyebrows in amusement, as one of their typical mockery fights began, leaning one hand on the shelf behind her. His whisper was rasp, sending a chill up her spine. "Is that so? And who says I'll let you have it in the first place?"_

_Maya loved playing these games with him. It had become their routine of shutting out the world, for a few brief moments acting as flirtatious friends. "Why?... Because I'm faster."_

_Before Will could comprehend what she had said, Maya ducked under his arm and bolted towards her desk. She scooped up her car keys from the counter and made way for the door, lost in a fit of giggles at their immaturity._

"_Where do you think-" the bookkeeper shrieked as the felt herself being caught by the hips, "you're going?" _

_Maya was suddenly very dizzy, in a good way, as she relished in the hold he had on her. She made a false attempt to wriggle from her love's grasp, stuttering through laughter that the chicken-pot-pie would be hers. _

"_Like hell it will. The Chicken-Pot-Pie King takes no prisoners! Be my queen, or suffer my wrath…"_

_Both options sounded good to Maya. "I will never join you!" _

"_Then you will pay the price!" Before she could protest, Will grasped her waist and suspended her in the air. She squealed as he wrapped a firm arm around her stomach, attacking tickly-fingers to her abdomen. The bookkeeper hooted, unable to contain her laughter as his hand pranced across her front. _

_How had he known she was ticklish?- The question could barely cross her mind as her face turned red: in both embarrassment and lack of oxygen. She had now kicked her way down to the floor, where she lay still in the aftershock of looming giggles._

_Will was laughing- actually laughing- where his face glowed, his eyes danced, and he bore a beautiful grin made Maya's heart stop. His hair was ruffled, bangs askew across his forehead, the rest in messy clumps around his ears and down his neck. 'Oh, how handsome you are', she could not help remembering. _

_The object of her affection stood over her, his smile now crooked with amusement. "It looks like the King is victor-"_

_CLOMP! Will sailed to the ground as a fighting Maya did not prepare to lose so easily- although it more had to do with not breaking their moment. She had grabbed his ankle and swiped it high in the opposite direction, sending Will falling. He lost his guard for half a second as he hit the floor, which was all the time Maya needed. She clambered on top of him, pinning him down, sitting on his stomach with one leg on either side of his hip. Success! _

"_Ha! Who's King now?" Maya flaunted as he attempted to buck her off. She leaned forward on her hands, each positioned on one shoulder, not allowing him to push her off. "Face it; there is a new Chicken-Pot-Pie ruler!" _

_The spy fell back, admitting defeat. Although he didn't make an attempt to verbally announce her glory. _

_When he said nothing, Maya sung harmoniously, "Say it. Who's the Queen?" _

_He pouted in response. She squeezed him tighter, not preparing to let him off the hook. "Say it!"_

"_Fine..." (He is so adorable) "You are the Queen."_

"_And," she antagonized. _

"_You get chicken-pot-pie."_

"_And?"_

_He paused for only half a second. "You look beautiful."_

_The bookkeeper's face was flushed of boastful glee. Her smile faded, and as she composed what he said, she felt slightly ill. Why would he say that? Hadn't he made it clear their relationship couldn't occur, even if he did care about her? Or had Will said it simply because he thought she wanted to hear it? _

_Finally having grasped what was happening, Maya realized that she and Will were in a questionable position: she sat on top of him, leaned over far enough that a few inches further and their faces would be touching. His hands lay on her thighs, originally having been trying to push her off, but now relaxed. Her blonde locks fell over her cheek, swinging lightly through the air. Both of them were panting. _

_Maya immediately blushed, realizing how it would have looked to a customer suddenly walking in. _

_She felt something warm on her cheek. Will's hand. She gazed softly down at him, keeping her eyes trained as his palm curled fallen strands behind her ear. For the first time since their discussion about being forbidden to love one another, Maya saw the spark within his eyes graduate to more than that of casual flirting: desire._

_No, she was mistaken. She must have been. Mumbling an apology for the third time that night, Maya reached for one of the book stands to hoist herself up. Unfortunately, fate had other intentions. The shelf weakened under her weight, and the pressure brought dozens of books raining onto the couple. Maya shrieked in surprise, ducking down into Will's chest as heavy covers hit her back. Instantly, she felt herself being overturned, as the spy formed a wall of protection against the rest of the falling hardbacks. _

_While the shower may have only lasted a few seconds, it felt like an eternity. Maya grasped Will's black tee-shirt, lying with her head turned against the wooden floor, his hot breath radiating against her ear. To make matters worse, when the final book had hit the ground beside them, she turned to face Will, having underestimated how close his mouth was to her. _

_When she moved, his lips brushed her cheek ever so lightly._

_Maya froze. She couldn't breathe as her heart started pounding against her chest, so loud she was sure Will heard it. Her insides burned with the awareness of his propinquity, while her mind stung with the pain of rejection she knew she would soon face. He would remind her again, she could tell when he turned to face her, that they could not act upon selfish impulse. He was not the man to become involved with, she could hear him saying. It was dangerous, and would only lead to heartbreak._

"_I am so graceless," Maya spurt bluntly, wanting to make it seem as though there wasn't really any sexual tension between them. "Good thing I know a spy who can act as my bomb shelter. Are you okay?" _

_Her attempt to lighten the mood had failed. Will remained crouched over her, his eyes reflecting the grave premonitions he was foreseeing. Not wanting him to assume she had done this intentionally, Maya spoke before she had any words planned. "I'm sorry, Will. I really didn't mean to… I mean, I understand that we can't…" _

_Maya sighed before beginning again, "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, Will. I understand that we can't be together, and honestly I'm not trying to force you to do anything that would compromise your position with Hometown. You are performing an assignment, and I'm just your contact. I promise this won't-"_

_He silenced her with his lips._

_His powerful, yet soft and chillingly tender lips._

_Will closed his mouth over hers for barely a second, savoring the feel of her, embracing the honey taste of their kiss, before breaking their connection. He withdrew slowly, locking her eyes in his gaze, though stopped short, wanting only her and nothing else in the room to hear his whisper. "You are not, nor have you ever been, just my contact."_

_Maya was breathless, mostly in shock, the memory of his kiss hovering on her mouth, which now felt cold at the emptiness of not relishing in it more. It took all of her control to not raise her head to claim that feeling again. Instead she gazed patiently back at Will, watching him search her eyes- or rather, looking to her for a mirror back to him, so he could see within himself what was to happen next._

_Cautiously, Maya wrapped her arms around Will's neck. Quietly, as though she would scare him away if she spoke too loudly, the bookkeeper revealed to him her intentions. "And I don't want to be just your asset. I know we have limitations, Will, but I don't feel they should take away from your happiness. I want to be your support when you're worried or stressed. I know you need it Will- everyone does. I just want to be there for you." And she did. With all her power, she wanted to make him laugh again. She wanted him to smile and to forget all his sins. More than that, she wanted to be the one who took that all away from him._

_This was clearly not the rebuttal he was expecting. Within a blink, Maya saw Will's face change from negativity to a mixture of fear and thoughtfulness. She could read his expression- could it truly be that simple? The human desire to need comfort and love? Yes, her mind screamed as hope arose in her heart. Jumping upon his vulnerability, as they were now no longer with secrets, Maya pulled him slightly closer. Their noses met in an Eskimo kiss. _

"_You know __**this**__," she referred to Hometown not by name, "better than I do: the risks and consequences. But what __**I**__ know is that I can be there when you need someone." Before he could relinquish his sins again, Maya interrupted quickly: "I know you have horrible experiences you are trying to forget. I know that, and I don't care. Nothing you tell me could change how I feel about you. You need someone to trust, and I want to be that person. I'll always be on your side Will…" the bookkeeper paused, tempted to stop there, but finished with what her heart screamed: "if you'll let me." _

_She hadn't realized she was crying until she'd finished speaking. It was all so clear to her, and Maya desperately wanted him to see that. She loved him, she wanted to be with him, and nothing else mattered. _

_Her heart fell to pieces as he sat up. That was it. She had failed, and now things would be horribly distant between them._

_But to her surprise, Maya felt herself being lifted with him. Will sat her up, then while keeping one hand on her back, positioned his other palm under her leg. In a swift motion, he had her cradled in his lap. She locked her eyes with his, feeling as though she were in a dream as he reached up to cup her face. He leaned over and pressed his lips to the wet streak, the only remaining sign of her sorrow. His mouth trailed down until he caught the water on her chin, suckling the tear until it left no evidence of existing._

"_If this is going to happen, it has to go both ways." Maya felt lighter than air as she rested her head on his shoulder, inhaling and memorizing his virile scent. "You need someone to take care of you too Maya." He stroked her hair, which he would learn was an incredible weakness of hers, carefully forming his next words. _

"_This will be dangerous. More for you than me. And I just don't know if I could risk losing you, Maya. The people I work for don't care about feelings- they care about improvement and success. The only way we can be together is if we give them absolutely no reason to worry about us. And that includes keeping our relationship a secret." Despite seemingly trying to convince her that loving him would be a mistake, Will paused to nuzzle her hair affectionately. _

"_I would have to continue with the Drexler assignment, as planned, to give them no reason to question my integrity. For right now Maya, this is the life we would have to lead. There are things about me you will never know, occurrences that would scare you more than this mission, and you would have to live with knowing that the terrible things I do, while for benefit of the country, will continue to destroy people's lives." He drew away so he could look into her eyes. "Could you accept that? Because that is what would have to happen if we became involved."_

_The beautiful girl paused for a fraction of a second before she nodded, no doubt in her words as she spoke. "Will, these things are going to happen whether I'm involved with you or not. I can't stop them, and I won't try. I trust you, you have to understand. You are not a bad man, and I can see that." His furrowed expression suggested he didn't believe her. "Your indiscretions are part of the past, and whoever you were back then doesn't matter to me now. The Will Traveler I want to be with is right here. He's the one I know, and he's the one I… " love was the first word that came to her; "care about" was what she chose to say._

_His hand combed her hair, his breath growing more anxious and deep. Their silence was interrupted by the sudden chorus of cricket chirps outside the shop. Darkness had arrived, and became a haunting reminder of passing time. But within the bookstore, curled up on the floor surrounded by a moat of stories, Will and Maya found love in one another. To bind that eternal promise of faith, Will pulled his girlfriend closer. She moved willingly, rotating her head to the right to capture his lips fully. His eyes wavered shut as he embraced a power he never thought himself capable of receiving, a surge of devotion that was unattainable through any person but the one in his arms._

_The kiss was barely a whisper at first, as their new freedom took a few seconds to awaken the pair. But the immediate need for contact, and the long-awaited desire for comfort sparked an ardor fire. He pressed her forcefully into him, claiming her mouth in a battle he didn't need to fight. She assured him of this, sliding her hands down his neck in a lulling manner. Will's hands fell to her hips, where he caressed her sides with such tenderness he felt Maya's skin warming under his touch. He traveled the outside of her mouth slowly, enjoying the taste of peaches on her lips, delighting in softness more addicting than his heart had imagined. _

_He was so strong, so alive, that his movements overwhelmed Maya but made her want more. His tongue found the part in her lips, but moved no further until she allowed him entrance, the rich taste of yearning emitting a gasp from her, which in turn brought him to smile against her mouth. Her heart raced as she instinctually leaned into him, whereupon he collected her into his arms, pulling her so tightly to him that he feared he was hurting her. But she was too lost in the feel of him to have any pain. Pain was non-existent, as were their troubles and fears. Because they were together. _

_They were safe when they were together. _

She honestly believed that, and always would.

Staring down into her wavering reflection, Maya saw that a smile had formed at the memory of her and Will's first kiss. The warmth that had controlled her heart that night still remained as strong as ever. She had been mistaken after all; she had not fallen out of love for Will.

_Then why am I scared of him?  
_

Months before, it she had been asked to describe Will Traveler, her heart would have fluttered as the million wonderful qualities she adored about him would pour from her mouth as though he were a memorized poem. But now, while the aspects of him she loved still reigned, there was a new distance within him that had suddenly become apparent. Remembering their vow, Maya all at once came to see her problem did not lie within her feelings towards Will. No, it was evident to anyone she was absolutely in love with him.

It was Will's feelings towards her that were causing her pain.

A light push of air awoke Maya from her dreamy spell, a steady reminder of the storm to come that night. Wrapping her arms around herself, she felt Will's absence suddenly take its toll. She wanted solace from him, but more than that she wanted to know if he truly still needed her as much as he had that evening in the bookstore. He had never given her the impression of a life together after this mission, when she would no longer be his contact. What was to happen to them? Did he have anything planned, or had her outburst ruined any chances of being with Will?

She needed to talk to him. And Maya could only pray he would be truthful.


	2. If Only

The house was dark, now without natural sunlight to preserve electricity. Just as Maya stepped into the door, a rolling boom vibrated through the sky. The promise of rain made the air slightly chilly, as Maya rubbed her hands up and down her elbows. The table had been set by Will, where sat her plate with a cold piece of chicken, stale garlic bread and a damp broccoli clump. How long had she been outside?

"Will?" Her call echoed back to her. "Will?" She made way for the upstairs, but halted by the stair-post at a flash of color. Against the handle of her front door stuck a yellow post-it note, Will's jotty handwriting scribbled on its surface. Flipping on the entrance light, Maya picked up the note, feeling her sadness drop into her stomach as she read the hasty message:

_**Meeting with Alex. Be back late. **_

Oxygen caught in her throat, Maya let out a coughing noise, which had started as a gasp. Her teeth buried within her lower lip as her heart fell down another step of pain. Not only had Will left when she very much needed him, but he had gone back to the world she would never belong to.

Maya didn't believe in disliking people she didn't know. However, if she was ever to come close with someone, it would be Alexa Casineda. The name alone suggested all she was, beauty and cunning, but having met the agent twice during Hometown meetings, the bookkeeper was surprised at her immediate dislike for the woman. She had convinced herself it was jealousy: after all, Alex had known Will long before her. She knew the indiscretions that tore holes in his conscience, she had worked with him through the memories he was now trying to forget, and from the suave manner in which she always addressed him, Alex had no doubt been his comfort for years.

All-in-all, Alex was the strong woman Maya could never be.

Maya hadn't asked Will about his relationship with Alex for two reasons: one, because she was afraid of what she would learn. Had they been lovers? Was the beautiful agent still attracted to her partner, or even more horrifically, vice versa? Two, Maya knew that if Will didn't mention Alex, he did not wish to talk about her. Some part of him, she had discovered, liked keeping his lifestyles separate. Despite technically being a part of Hometown, Will had never truly connected his girlfriend to his business, because she had not "signed up" as he had. Having been forced to join by the faults of her brother, Maya was stuck with the organization.

She dropped the note to the floor, too upset to be concerned with it. Climbing the stairs to her bedroom, the first door to the left, Maya had to grip the railing securely with fear of passing out. The first flash of lightning slashed outside her window, accenting the shadows of the furniture in her room. It had a simple design: cream colored walls, a South Shore queen-sized bed with aquamarine quilting and scattered pillows of light blue and green, a cherry-wood side-table (atop: an alarm clock, "The Scarlet Letter" and a twin-arm desk lamp), a two-door closet, a dresser decorated with pictures of many years back, including ones of the loving couple Donald and Sarah Carter.

The most outstanding feature of the room was a painting on the opposite wall of the bed. A radiant and detailed watercolor of a tall sailboat, drifting idly in the bathing glow of an orange sun, magnified by the extraordinary detail carved along its side. A closer look would reveal the light etchings of countries, from the perspective of a satellite, stretched across the entire profile of the boat. Land could be seen from the edges of the portrait, although they were shadowed by lack of illumination. The focal point was this beautiful, uninhabited boat. "Weary Traveler" was written in chicken scratch at the top left corner of the portrait.

Maya sunk into her mattress, wishing it would suffocate her worry until only a hollow presence remained. Fear had caught tight in her throat, which only irritated it more as she hiccupped tears back. She shivered, although it wasn't cold at all. Bewilderment had clouded her mind, once again dragging her from reality into the memory world where Will Traveler existed. Lost to the storm outside, but caught in a violent tempest within her own spirit, Maya was hovering in the past, three months before, within a memory she never realized was eating away at her.

_Christmas was nearing, which was evident by the glossy snow glaze latched onto sidewalks, the bright lights strung along doorways and plastic Santas planted in lawns. The noses of cardboard reindeer on rooftops were blinking bright red, working as reflectors through the soupy mess of falling crystals._

_Maya found it odd how, despite the festively decorated houses, the neighborhood just outside Hancock County was surprisingly quiet. People were home, for light streamed through blind-covered windows, yet no children played outside in their polar-bear suits throwing snowballs at one another, or taking advantage of the empty street by sledding down their steep driveways. Not even the print of a snow angel could be found within the area. _

_What did stand out were the bars on the windows of every quaint house on the street. There were no cars parked by the curbs, probably stowed away in securely locked garages. On the doors of at least half a dozen homes, Will had counted/noted, there were "Protected by ADT Security" signs taped clear for anyone to see. Living within five miles of a jail made people extremely cautious, Will had concluded. Paranoia was enough of a con to bring prices down on homes in these areas, he stated matter-of-factly, so people were willing to risk the security for a bargain house. _

_He had done most of the talking on their hour car ride. Maya had appreciated him coming along, despite having tried to convince him not to waste their weekend for a trip downstate to see her brother. He had insisted, however, when she mentioned her plan to see him, to come along and make sure she would be alright. Maya suspected he had made his own conclusions about Duncan, even though he had yet to meet her brother. Whenever she mentioned growing up with him, spending summers fishing for salmon and trout at the docks in their father's boat, building igloos with the neighbor's daughter, going up to Maxine's for Iced Apple-Cinnamon pancakes, Will would only give a small smile and nod. His impression was upon Duncan's last event with his sister: sitting in a jail cell in Deer Harbor, both awaiting questioning by the FBI in regards to drug trafficking._

_Maya hoped she was simply reading too much into Will's calm manner: after all, she couldn't expect him to be cheery about a man whose actions had brought her into such a dangerous mess. Once, Maya had pointed out that she only met Will through Hometown. At that his eyes had fogged over with sinister gravity. "That's true," he replied as his frown grew tighter. "And I certainly don't regret that, Maya. If only it had been under different circumstances…"_

_If Only. What a horrible phrase that was. If only Duncan had stayed clean. If only Will wasn't caught up in such an important project. If only he had not been so well trained as to be suspicious and untrusting of everyone. If only Maya was stronger, like those her lover worked for. If only she could comfort him with all the emotion bursting within her. Oh, 'if only' was a cruel provoker. _

_Maya's small car easily maneuvered into a parking space in front of the jail. The lot was empty, which along with the graying sky and dead trees made the building look distinctly ominous. Men in orange jumpsuits stood stooped-over about the grass area, collecting decayed branches as one of their more dull chores. While getting out Maya counted five guards along the border of the prison, all with the same stern, frozen expression that scared Maya three years before, and to this day still scared her. It was one of the many fears that caused her to push aside ethics and agree to John Ellington's recruitment. _

_On the sidewalk, finally taking in the realization that she would be seeing her brother again, Maya was pulled from her worries as Will touched her elbows. He pulled her body towards his, taking her hands in a prayer motion. "Are you sure you want to do this?" His tone was scratchy, which she guessed was a result of worry. "I know you promised your brother you would come… but you don't have any obligations towards him."_

_Maya gave a small but lingering nod. "Yes. I need to be sure he's okay. I-I'm the only person who comes by and I know it means a lot to him that I visit on the holidays."_

_Confirmed, but still doubtful, Will sent a warm rush through Maya when he captured her lips. He kissed longer than necessary, adding sincerity to his next question: "You know I'm here for you, right?"_

_Maya gave a warm, appreciative smile. "I've never doubted it."_

* * *

_He was thinner. That was the first thought that came to Maya's mind as she stared at her brother through the transparent screen. All the shine in his eyes, that she had reveled in for the twenty years they had lived together, had vanished entirely. That glisten had been replaced with a cold void of sorrow, with dark times and the pains of isolation floating within. Duncan was broken. He had truly fallen apart._

_Before even speaking, Maya reached out to the glass, as though it would disappear and allow her the ability to touch her brother reassuringly. But his sentence, she knew, would not permit them to have contact, fear of her possibly passing drugs to him or vice versa. The law did not account for the guilt and confusion inside of her, seeing Duncan bearing the recognizable orange suit, that (despite being bright) made him look pathetic and tired._

"_Hey sis," he eventually offered, the lightest of smiles breaking through._

"_Hey." Some relief swept over her just by hearing him speak. Maya took a seat on the provided stool, placing the phone more securely against her ear. His voice was almost inaudible, which probably didn't have to do with their restricted way of communicating. _

"_How've you been?"_

_Maya gulped silently. The last time she had visited her brother in prison, she had told him about Will, the "FBI agent" (she could not mention Hometown over a bugged phone) who stayed with her on occasion. They had not been dating at the time, nor had she given her brother an impression Will was anything more than a colleague. She had withheld this from him because Duncan knew what Hometown was. More than that, he was aware of the dangers of those involved. The night of their arrest, Maya had told him about the call she received from John Ellington, an out for not being convicted. She didn't have to tell him, though. Because he too had received the same call. Hometown could make his charges vanish, he had been promised. And in return they would only need him to perform a simple task. _

"_Don't do it, Maya," he had warned her that April night in jail, taking her hand and locking her petrified gaze. "I'm not, and you can't either. I know these kinds of people: they are like coyotes and lone-sharks. They have something on you, and they will take you for everything you have."_

_But she hadn't listened. Prison scared her too much. And more than that, with their parents having been killed in a drunk-driving accident ten months before, she could not afford to lose the family's bookstore. So she had agreed to the damnation, while her brother was carted away to jail to rot for ten years._

_Knowing his feelings on Hometown, Maya was sure he would not be pleased to learn she had fallen in love with her contact, whom he considered to be, despite her objections, a spying bastard who didn't give a shit about what happened to Maya. So what was she to say to him? _

"_I'm doing okay." She had decided on the ride up to Hancock County she would have to relay the news gently. It surprised her how much she cared about her brother's response: it was not as though he chose who she could and couldn't date. She determined it had more to do with him being her only remaining family member. And she loved him, even though he had damned her to a life of lies; she cared so much about Duncan. _

"_Have you? The FBI not giving you any trouble?" The FBI, being Hometown, seemed Duncan's number one concern, staring her down with stony eyes that would not permit her to lie._

'_**Here it goes.'**__ "Actually… no. In fact, the agent staying with me; you remember Will?" She knew very well he did, and it was confirmed by the instant tight movement of lips. "He came with me today."_

_Duncan's eyelids rose and his pupils dilated with unquestionable dislike. Leaning forward, he pressed, "Why did you bring him?" _

"_I didn't bring him. Will wanted to come."_

_When he made no effort to respond, a deep breath permitted her to continue: "Duncan, Will and I are together. I am… I am very much in love with him," her heart sailed at reciting this aloud. She had yet to say it to either herself or Will. "And I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. I know how you feel about the 'FBI', but I promise you he is not a bad man. He is wonderful, gentle and very caring."_

_The look he gave her immediately washed away any hope of persuasion. Duncan's brown locks fell over his forehead, his clenched fist working as a stool for his strong nose. She could hear him not breathing, and by not looking at her knew he was furious. He hadn't looked at her when she broke his fishing pole when they were nine. He wouldn't look at her after she had dropped his autographed Roberto Clemente baseball into their pond in the backyard. And he would not look at her now._

"_What the hell are you doing, Maya?"_

_What made his statement tear at her heart was the anguish within his tone. He sounded as though he had lost his best friend._

"_You don't know him- You can't say you know Will when you've never met him! Honestly, Duncan, he is a wonder-"_

"_Just because he's slept with you Maya doesn't mean he loves you." _

"_He hasn't-" Maya paused as her voice had become exceedingly loud. "We haven't slept together. You cannot judge him, and it's childish for you to not at least-"_

"_Let me talk to him."_

_At that the blond froze, temporarily forgetting he had once again interrupted her. "What?"_

"_Let me talk to him. You say he's a good guy," the tone of his voice still remained solemn, despite having seemingly decided to be optimistic, "I want to talk to him for myself."_

_It was a trap, something deep within Maya told her. Duncan never sways so easily._

'_But maybe he has changed', a hopeful voice sprung. 'Let the two most important people in your life meet- they both care about you. Neither would do anything to upset you.' _

"_Okay," she responded lightly. "I'll go get him." Before turning, she took a second to send her brother a silent sibling-message. 'You are so important to me. Please just accept him.'_

_Will appeared surprised to see her, yet he was prepared to take her into his arms, assuming her brother had been so cruel as to refuse speaking with her. But shaking her head, Maya said quietly into his shoulder, "He wants to see you."_

_He held her at arm's length, clearly trying to read her reaction to Duncan's request. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. I know your brother's position on Hometown. He's wrong, but I doubt I can convince him of that."_

_Understanding him, Maya gave a half-hearted smile, raising her hand to his warm, unshaven cheek. "But… would you still talk to him?" She knew she sounded desperate, but truthfully she was. She wanted both men in her life, and couldn't imagine losing either._

_He didn't hesitate. That was what made him so wonderful. He knew his restrictions, and he knew his weaknesses: saying no to her was one. "Sure." After placing a light kiss to her forehead, he disappeared around the corner (to Maya's hope, where Will and Duncan would call a truce on her behalf). _

_Eternity seemed to pass as Maya waited. Natural curiosity mixed with intangible fear slowed the hands of time to a pace more appropriate for molasses than an anxious girlfriend. But when the time did come- only a few moments later as it turned out- Maya knew immediately everything had gone wrong._

_She heard the commotion; the sound of a screaming man followed a crash of something metal. The voice was recognizable, although Maya had never heard her brother raise his voice; yet the fury that echoed in his tone was undeniably his. It took several seconds for her heart to slow to normal pace, and by this time Will had returned. His face was completely calm, but he walked hurriedly and the fire in his eyes could have killed on contact. Without speaking, he placed on arm around Maya's waist, the other hand on her elbow, and practically pushed her out the door._

"_Will-" He would not look at her as he placed her in the passenger's seat and slammed the door._

"_Will, what happened?" He continued to ignore her, placing his entire focus on backing out of the parking space. Furiously forcing the car into drive, he spun the steering wheel and pressed his foot so hard on the brake Maya was sure the vehicle wasn't touching the ground. He didn't seem desperate, as though on the run; just extremely furious._

_Once miles away from the jail, the blonde took a deep breath before asking again, "What was that about?"_

_Will ground his teeth before speaking in a tone an octave lower than normal: "It didn't work out." _

_Maya waited for him to give her more, but he wasn't volunteering anything else. "What did he say?" _

"_It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have let you come today."_

"_Doesn't matter? He's my brother, of course it's important. Now tell me!" At that, they were both surprised. Maya never yelled, especially not at Will. It made her feel very small when he would not answer, instead keeping his eyes trained on the road. The only sound came from tires rolling against the concrete, with the same constant pattern of a train on tracks._

"_Maya," her name from his lips sounded prodigious, "he's not worth your time… or your compassion. I know he's your brother, but he does not treat you like his sister."_

"_How could you possibly know that from being with him only a few minutes?"_

"_He loves you to make you feel guilty. When in truth, you're nothing more to him than someone to blame his problems on. That's the kind of guy he is; the kind of guy I used to be. It's a line of fire where neither side wins… and I won't let you get hurt."_

Maya was broken from her reverie at the hissing of her front door's screen. Will had returned home.

Slowly the bookkeeper sat up, but made no attempt to go and greet her boyfriend. As small a gesture as it was, she needed him to come to her, to show he was worried sick despite having left so suddenly. He surely knew she wanted to talk, and as always he would comfort her in the marvelous ways he knew how. So Maya remained on the edge of the bed, listening to him tip-toe through the dining room.

_He must think I'm asleep, _she reasoned after a passing minute.

Maya waited. She heard him shuffling in the kitchen, unable to determine what he was doing. Having memorized the creaks of her home's floorboards, Maya listened as Will stopped by the bottom of the stairs, toying with something that sounded heavy as it suddenly slammed against the wall. There was a pause of unnatural silence, intent on gathering even the slightest noise from somewhere within the house. It was then Maya realized something was wrong. No longer concerned with her own depression, she took time to compose herself before making way for the door. She heard Will's ascending footsteps, and turned the corner, knowing she would find herself immediately face-to-face with her boyfriend. "Will, you don't have to-"

She barely had a chance to breathe nonetheless scream before Maya felt a leather glove close over her mouth. She had only half a second to see that the man she'd addressed- a black cover over his entire head, a hat intended for cold weather- was not Will Traveler. Realization, on the other hand, took far longer to register, and by that time she was already being pushed through her doorway. Tripping over her assailant's scurrying feet, Maya was squashed onto the mattress, her pursuer knocking the wind out of her with his own body weight.

Out of instinct, she screamed first. And with that out of her system, Maya started struggling. Wriggling like a worm, she tried bucking her attacker off. But he had the benefit of stability: while he leaned over her, his feet still remained firmly on the carpet. The masked-man placed his forearm on her throat, pinning her down to free his right hand.

Maya's guess would have been a gun. So she was surprised (but hardly relieved) when he produced a small white syringe, recognizing the dripping liquid as heavy tranquilizer intent on repressing her. Watching his hand fall to her arm, Will's beautiful face suddenly flashed in Maya's mind. She saw the decisive flare in his eyes that worked as a barrier against the past; the firm curve of his jaw as he would stare her down with his "this is too dangerous" expression. She saw the glaze in his pursued lips as they would press against her cheekbone. She recalled those lips, drifting ever so slowly across her face with the light brush of a flower, coming to a close around her ear, placing warm kisses onto her lobe. Seeing her aggressor drop the needle to her skin, knowing she may never feel Will's tender touch again, a burst of inner strength set Maya's heart into drive. She would not lose this time; for once, she would be strong.

The girl delivered a sharp kick to her attacker's shin. His hand froze briefly as he lost balance on his left leg. Maya lifted her other knee to collide with his stomach, and was rewarded with a sibilate curse. Recalling at once her self-defense training with Will, Maya slipped her hand from underneath her back, slamming the heel of her palm full against the man's nose. And by throwing her alternate fist against his wrist, the bookkeeper successfully shoved off her attacker as well as sent the sedative sailing across the room.

But there was hardly time to revel in her success. Maya dashed for the doorway, making it full way around the corner and to the edge of the staircase before she was captured by her shoulders. She was whipped around, her fingers barely having missed catching the rail; where two hands caught and clenched her arms. The mask of her attacker had begun to grow red as blood spilled from his nose. Apparent by his wobbling head, he seemed to be having a hard time focusing. All but falling forward, he pushed her over the top stair.

His poor balance was what killed him.

For instead of toppling over and down the stairs, Maya was shoved at an angle, against the rail. The wood struck just below her scapula, forcing her neck to whip back. Her attacker, still with his hands on her arms, cried out as gravity sent him falling, completely unbalanced by his attempt to push her over. She was forced to fall with him, curling from the rail, her head slamming onto his chest when he hit the stair. There was a distinct crack, with the same sharp echo as a fast ball against an aluminum bat. Maya was in too much pain to brace herself, and her thoughts were so out of focus. She knew she was going to die as they sled down the seemingly endless staircase.

But it did end. Seconds later, followed by total silence. Everything had frozen, the ominous chill of death taking no time to ascend and conquer. The rolling thunder, still ringing, seemed to hover around the home like a moth. It fluttered, came crashing down, and then made itself undetectable once again.

The first thing Maya noticed was that she could breathe. She didn't dare open her eyes, knowing too well that if she did, she would awaken all her senses and feel the stab of pain that would take her soul from Earth. Shaky gasps escaped her lips, and swallowing seemed a fatal task, but she was still alive. Eventually unable to delay fate any longer, Maya slowly raised her eyelids.

The first agony that struck was in her back, where the weight of her and a two-hundred pound man had crushed into it. The second sting came in her arms, though at the moment she couldn't understand why. Her chest ached where her aggressor had so forcefully pressed into her, and she was sure- confirmed as she sat up- that her neck would punish her for being thrown around. That was the pain she _felt_; looking over herself, Maya was surprised (and thankful) to see no blood staining her clothes.

The same could not be said of her attacker.

He remained still, mask curled up so part of his neck was revealed, no oxygen passing through his open mouth. Crimson blood began spilling out the bottom of the hood, crawling over his collar in an ugly growing mass. Maya realized the fatal blow she had heard did not belong to her, but rather to the skull of her aggressor. She pictured a large split in his head, and then immediately wished she hadn't, falling to her elbows as nausea swept over her. God, why could she not be steady, at least for a second?

Refusing to stare at the body, Maya shut out the world to calm herself. Immediately, she found her thoughts drifting back to the day she visited Duncan, to Will's refusal to tell her about the argument, to his "If Onlys".

_Oh, if only you had been here. If only it were you who would have to clean up this body. If only, my Will, this could stop happening to us. _

_If only it didn't feel like fate was trying to tell us something…_

* * *

_**Note from Me**_**: I wanted to give a shout out to Macex for being a terrific "beta". Thanks sweetie! **

**A heads up for this story's future: it'll probably cover the course of events over a few days. But very busy days for Will and Maya, I assure you. ;) Feedback is always appreciated; the good, the bad, but ****not**** the ugly. Toodloo, and **_**keep on traveling!**_


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